Another Fundraising Campaign

This time, it is not for me but for my brother...
Fundraiser Campaign

When we were kids. He used to idolize me. I was the amazing big brother

Teenage years happened, mental illness, and personal failures later and I am now the brother. Not one to be idolized.

I am now a non-working adult. My mental illness makes me afraid to get to work. I think that at least I’ll try to support my brother’s last year of college with a crowdfunding campaign.

The allowance given to him on top of that the rent and everything put a drain on our household income. My mom is a public school teacher but she’s sunk on debts. 

Please, if you have the dollars or cents to spare. Please be a benefactor of my brother. He is kindhearted and I am sure he will give back the kindness given to him sooner or later down life’s road.

If you donate like 100 PHP or roughly 2 USD. I can draw a digital cartoon of your favorite animal. 

The Value of Volunteering

Just yesterday, I was sifting through the numerous freelancing jobs on websites like Upwork, Homejobs, etcetera and etcetera.

I came to realize that most of this freelancing gigs needs “experienced” freelancers to take jobs such as social media management, virtual assistant work, and others.

To cut the story short, I am not yet experienced enough.

They are wanting Superstar, Rockstar, Amazing Freelancers. I’m sure many of the freelance employers have their own term for an excellent employee.

It’s my sensible belief to not claim myself to be a “Rockstar” freelancer. Maybe not just yet. Not with my current abilities.

Oh noes! Pity me, I don’t have the skills yadda yadda

You thought I was going to go downhill to being depressive again? No, this time I am going to fight.

What I think is the solution…

I started to search for “what sites to work for free for experience…”

Well, forgive me that I did not search for Virtual Volunteering Sites.

So Yes, I came upon virtual volunteer sites for charities while googling. And I must say that I like the idea.

The thought that you are making the world better and gaining something in return…

So am I wasting my time giving free work?

My answer is a big NO!

I believe that volunteering to charities with your preferred skills (e.g. marketing, data entry, etc.) will translate to Work Experience in your Resume.

That’s my point in today’s blog.

Also, I tried to contact an organization through those websites, We’ll see if I can find a suitable virtual charity work.

Volunteer Match is a nice website to offer your skills to deserving Non-profit organizations.

Seriously, if you are someone like me who is anxious to apply for physical work and hoping to find a freelancing job. Then, try it!

Campaign Update

UPDATE: I deleted the Campaign. I have created another one but for my brother's schooling here




The last campaign garnered only 8 USD. It is still in my paypal and will be used for my new campaign.

Actually, I was employed for about a month but only as a trainee with meager allowance. It brought more bad than good as I've suffered a lot psychologically and physically in that graveyard shift job.

Moving on, I decided to revamp the campaign and instead fund for me to go to school. This time for a vocational course.

I will take up dressmaking NC II ( If the funding will push through).
It will allow me to have the skills to create clothes or patterns ( maybe). There is little information online.

All the funding will be used to support my second schooling.
Again, if you have the means. Every dollar counts.
Thanks!

To see the revamp funding page go here.

I was called "Useless" and felt that way too

I was called by my brother as "Useless"

Have you ever felt the pain from hearing words of dissapointment from people you love?

I am also dissappointed with myself but to hear it verbally is heartbreaking.



I tried to be proactive and fight the physical and mental apathy that my depression has on me.
I mopped the whole house yesterday. I washed the dishes. Maybe it wasn't enough.

I was just slumbering a while ago. When suddenly my brother told me that
I was useless and that I was only sleeping and surfing the internet- My mind kind of blanked out the exact

words but I think that was the message of the words he had.

I slammed the door and went out.
I cried and cried at the balcony of our house.
My mother saw me and she said that I should not be affected by "his" words.
I just can't.

Do you know the feeling of like your energy is being siphoned and you have no interest to even do the things

you used to do?

Maybe they don't understand the hell that I feel.
They think it's easy? No! Depression is not a walk in the park.

I felt useless and wanted to die.
But I try to fight on. I have to fight on.

I'll ingrain in my head that life is worth living on.
Even if others bruises my heart.

Please look forward to my storytime after I try to find a job at the city next week.

Campaign for my Anti-depressants and Professional improvement.
Please do consider to donate. There are rewards for donors 3 USD and above.

Please visit my deviantart. I upload my digital art there and see me improve!

Self-doubt and Self-Change

My art above. My testament for self-change.

I don't know.

I am not skilled.

Not charming enough.

But I will fight on.

My struggle in the past that I think contributed to my depression would be my inability to "charm" people or befriend everyone. I am apathetic to things.

Looking to my behavior now, I could see that my escapism attitude rooted from not accepting my past.

I am doubting myself and my self-worth.

However, I wanted to change myself for the better.

I want to create more stuff even if my body feels apathy doing it.

I drew the art above even if my self-doubt says "it's no use drawing, you will not be like those amazing artists"

Even if the campaign will not push through, I will still develop myself.

I will be expanding on those topics in the posts to come.

Dear self: Please fight on!

If ever you want to see my art journey please come to my
deviantart page

First Post

Hello there, I am Harold or you can call me by my internet handles - pandadodod and/or lucianlacekun.

I have created this blog to showcase the progress of my self improvement especially the gogetfunding campaign I currently have...

My Campaign  < Please click :)

I will post about my personal life and my struggle with depression and etc.

Next post will be about myself.